


5 + 1 times: lance and the search for keith's boyfriend

by haikquu



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 5 + 1 Things, 5 Things, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, WHO is keith's boyfriend?????!?!?!, im so sorry pls don’t be mad at me, keeps appearing in the recent works every time I edit???? idk, klance, pining lance, spoilers its lance, teen and up bc I Swear, uwu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 23:45:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15060404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikquu/pseuds/haikquu
Summary: Who could it be?!Lance tried to convince himself it wasn’t jealousy… it was just friendly concern. He had to ensure that whoever Keith was with treated him well, not that Keith needed Lance to look after him, but still, Keith deserved the world and Lance wanted to make sure whoever he was with gave that to him.Just buddy-buddy concerns.or alternatively; 5 + 1 times lance doesn't realise he's keith's boyfriend





	5 + 1 times: lance and the search for keith's boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Keith and the case of the mysterious boyfriend](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11473515) by [crystalklances](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalklances/pseuds/crystalklances). 



> hello!!!! it has been a while!!!!!!!! this took forever bc i had to edit it bc im awful at writing coherently 7 i've been travelling for two weeks!!! my friends who edit for me r also travelling !!!!! things r hard.
> 
> nyways i read a version of this by crystalklance here >> https://archiveofourown.org/works/11473515. full credit to this for being what made me write this! it was so fun to read and was the main inspiration to write this. like the trope it so cute??? but the fic was too short n i wanted More so i made some content lol. 
> 
> ALSO i have not seen season 6 yet bc i've been travelling and don't live in usa where voltron is available on netflix ): so no spoilers pls or i will delete my account. not a big threat but i will be Sad

> **i. a realisation**

“I _literally_ have no idea what he’s saying,” Keith said into his hands with a groan, rubbing his face hard with his palms.

Lance rolled his eyes in amusement, shifting his gaze from the record player in between them to look up at Keith, the soft and heavy music circulating around their little nook of the store exclusively.

“ _No one_ knows what Patrick Stump is saying, but we all just pretend to because at this point that's just FOB culture.”

“I’m not going to even pretend to understand what you just said.” Keith retorted, turning away from Lance to tend to the crate of records on the row behind him. Lance watched him as he methodically shuffled through the disorganised pile, lifting each record up and examining it carefully before sliding it into the correct slot.

The afternoon sun shone through the window shutters nearby, creating slits on the floor that bounced gently in soft waves. The shop was calm, chatter from patrons and different instrumentals cascading back and forth from different corners of the room, none of which somehow were ever a bother. Lance loved it here, especially so because whenever he was here he was with Keith. This was one of Lance’s dearest pastimes; being with Keith in the record shop. Or more accurately, _distracting_ Keith in the record shop. Luckily, the owner of the store didn't mind Lance’s interruptions despite Keith’s protests. Coran was a kind, although somewhat _eccentric_ boss. Perhaps it was attributed to the fact that Lance ended up doing a lot of free labour but Coram simply indulged them both.

“You can’t trash on Fall Out Boy, you fake emo,” Lance teased. “If this was 2007 I’d report your _MySpace_ account for fraud.”

Keith snorted out loud at that. “You know full well that if I had a _MySpace_ in 2007 I’d be _untouchable_.”

Lance grinned. With Keith it was easy, warm banter that made any moment feel like almost like a pocket of time outside of a mundane reality. They’d gotten off to a shaky start in their first year of university, a consequence of Lance being, well, _Lance_ and Keith never having dealt with a Lance before. There had been fights and arguments, and thankfully interventions from their friends that helped open the way to an understanding. It was almost ironic how _painfully_ well they both clicked, different enough to collide constantly at every turn but similar enough to always manage to fix things in the end, to seek the other out and comprehend the other’s perspective. After coming to the understanding, there had been a tense and awkward standby period, until Lance, being _Lance_ , had forced his company upon Keith and Keith finally opened up.

It was still a slow process, tedious at times, but moments like these proved to Lance that it had been worth it. Moments where Keith joked back, _teased_ back and just effortlessly existed alongside Lance. Lance was so grateful to know Keith now, something he never would have imagined himself saying a year ago. Keith was a rather... _unique_ teenager. He was clearly born in the late 90s and sported a mullet that the 80s would call out of date, not to mention the  leather jacket that had to be equally as old (and was _cropped_ . It wasn't even functional - it was for ‘ _fashion’_ ). He looked like something out of a bad YA novel, mismatched and intimidating. Keith could be almost scary, with a defensive stance, crossed arms and dark indigo eyes that felt almost threatening at times. Lance would never admit it, but he’d felt threatened by Keith outperforming him in classes, uncaring as to Lance’s grades when all Lance could do was obsess over Keith’s.

But then Keith started opening up, and as opposed to a fashion nightmare, Lance now knew him as a _total_ dork. Literally one of the dumbest and sweetest people he had the pleasure of knowing.

The smile stayed put on Lance’s face as he turned his attention back to the other pile of jumbled records and sighed deeply. For some reason, the patrons of the shop felt the need to purposely relocate every record, as if playing some sort of game solely to get on Lance’s nerves.

“This one…” Lance picked up a brightly coloured record from the pile, looking at the stands nearest to him and then back down. “This is _kpop_ , it doesn't even belong on this side of the shop! How the fuck is _Twice_ in with ‘Alternative’ and ‘Christian Rock’?” He said with a huff, putting the record aside.

He heard soft footsteps come up and stop beside him followed by Keith’s laugh. Another thing Lance had recently learned about Keith was his _laugh_ , specifically how variable it could be. This one in particular was a soft and low sound that spurted warmth in Lance’s chest. He almost felt proud that his friend was comfortable enough to be so relaxed and carefree around him, to let Lance hear his laughs and see his smile. The Keith of a year ago would never let his guard down, but then again, unlike now, Lance wouldn't have been able to call the Keith of a year ago his best friend.

“Hey,” Keith spoke up, snapping Lance out of his thoughts. “Thanks again for helping me out here.” Keith said softly, reaching across to squeeze his shoulder.

“No worries bud-”

Before Lance could comprehend it Keith’s hand moved up from his shoulder, fingers raised to his face. Keith’s hand was cold but it almost burned as it grazed across Lance’s cheekbone, all his senses stilling in response.

Just as quickly as it happened, Keith had already turned around and was walking back to his work, leaving a shocked and flustered Lance behind.

Keith had been steadily opening up over the past year, but this change was exponential and this wasn’t the first time either. Somewhere over the last month or two something had expedited. Keith touched him more, offered to meet him more for longer hours, and everytime he did, Lance literally imploded.

Lance knew he himself was quite touchy with his friends, but Keith was definitely not one for shoulder squeezes and… and _cheek caresses_. Although, perhaps this was just how Keith acted around close friends and he had finally begun to regard Lance in that sense.

“It’s what I’m here for.” Lance managed to choke back after a few seconds, turning around so Keith wouldn't be able to see his flaming red face.

Either way, it wasn't _fair_ . Keith was so kind and sweet and funny and _interesting_ , and now he was doing all… _this_. It was messing with Lance’s head. He shook his head to clear the cloud of thoughts, trying to focus back on the pile in front of him. The record switched, an all too familiar bass line and riff, enough of a distraction to help Lance shelve the moment away in amongst his list of ‘problems-to-deal-with-later’, also known as ‘Keith’.

“God complex? Gun complex? It doesn't even make sense either way!” Keith complained. Lance sighed in relief. _Banter_. This was familiar; this was good.

“This is why you failed English in high school, you lack the _sensitivity_.”

“I do _not_ lack sensitivity!” Keith said in indignation. “And I didn't fail English! You’re so annoying.”

“Yeah, but you love me.” Lance singsonged.

“Yeah, I suppose so.” Keith hummed back, voice soft. His voice was so soft that Lance thought maybe he hadn't said anything at all. He snapped his head up to look at Keith in surprise.

_This was so unfair._

Keith told Shiro he loved him all the time and Shiro, despite being his brother, had been his best friend too. Maybe this was just a Keith thing. Like a, ‘hey _buddy,_ love you… _buddy_ ’. Yeah, just a Keith-buddy thing.

Before Lance could question it however, someone called out to Keith and he rushed away, leaving Lance to simmer over his thoughts. Lance took a few moments to try to clear his mind once again.

“Hey, it’s Lance, right?” Lance turned his head to the source of the voice, a tall girl with dark green hair and brown skin.

“Yeah, that's me. Can I help you? I mean, I’m not an actual employee but I spend way too much time here anyways.” He joked, his signature smile easily making its way back on his face.

She smiled warmly. “Ah no, that’s not what I wanted to say. We’re in the same calculus class actually, that's how I recognised you and I was wondering… do you know Keith?”

Lance paused, caught off guard by the question. “Yeah, we’re friends.” he replied back slowly.

“Oh, I thought so!” She said excitedly. “I see you hang out with him a lot and I was wondering… is he single?”

Lance blinked a few times in surprise. Something bitter rose up the back of Lance’s throat.

“Oh, uh… yeah, yeah he is.”

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree and the twisting in his stomach magnified.

“Do you… ah, this is a little silly,” She chuckled a little nervously before shaking her head and meeting his eyes. “Do you think he’d go out with me if I asked?”

He tried to force a smile as he looked back at the girl, looking her up and down. Her face was familiar, and very pretty he could admit. Her smile was bright and she seemed kind and friendly. Ordinarily he might have tried to flirt with her, but at the moment the thought of that caused the familiar twist in his chest and bitter taste in his mouth.

“Just like… I’m in a few of his other classes and I’ve had the stupidest crush on him for the longest time-”

_God, tell me about it._

“And I know it's super silly but I kind of thought I should just have a go at it?”

_You should; at least you have a chance._

“And I don't know… as his friend I thought you might be able to help me…”

_Ah yes, Keith’s friend._

She was nervous and it was cute and Lance knew without a doubt that she’d be fine. She was also a girl and Keith, conveniently enough for her, was _painfully_ straight. She was bustling with nervous anticipation, eyes crinkled a little at their corners. She was cute, and nice, and _oh no oh no oh no_. Keith would love her.

It felt like a sword impaled his gut. Not that Lance knew what that felt like, but he could assume.

She raised one of her eyebrows in question as he kept blankly staring.

“Uh, yeah,” He choked out eventually, clearing his throat before carrying on. “I don't see why not! He’s a really good guy, don’t worry about it.”

She literally _glowed_ in response.

“Thank you! Thank you so much!” She exclaimed, snatching his hand and shaking it excitedly before running off. He couldn’t help the smile on his face as he watched her go, nor could he help the burning bitter clenching of his stomach at the idea of this girl actually going through with it and confessing to Keith.

He tried to ignore the thought, focusing on the task he promised Keith he’d do instead. Not that Keith had asked him to, but he had still promised him anyways.

He thought back to their conversation.

_“Lance… why do you keep coming here and literally doing my job for me? You really don’t need to.”_

_“Keith, my buddy, my man, you signed up for this. From now on I’m always going to be there to help and pester you. A just balance, can’t get too much of both.”_

Initially Keith would still protest, insisting Lance had better things to do, but recently Keith had been quiet. Over the last two months he actually stopped any and all complaints, almost welcoming Lance in every time he’d offer to come. The thought of Keith adapting to their friendship made Lance’s heart melt a little.

He remembered how hard it had been just over a year ago: the silence, the misunderstandings, the yelling and the arguing. It was all so distant now.

By the time Lance had finished the mountain of records in front of him (Seriously, was it _that_ difficult to just put a record back where you found it?), it had been an hour and Keith still hadn’t come back. Lance wasn't worried though - Keith actually had a job here, Lance was just company. He decided to head back to the little communal record player and mess around with it more, maybe freak the patrons out with some Taylor Swift.

Luckily, Coran was quite tolerant of Lance’s antics, even joining him on occasion to disturb his own customers. He was a total weirdo, but Lance digressed.

“Lance!”

He turned his head to the source of the voice to see the girl from before hurrying over to him. He  raised a hand in greeting and flashed a bright grin, but that immediately fell as he registered the look on her face.

“Are you okay? What happened?” He questioned, eyebrows furrowed in worry. She didn't look angry, but she certainly looked troubled, her big eyes slightly watery.

“Did you lie to me?” Her voice was low and her eyes were downcast.

Lance stood up quickly, eyes wide in shock. “Are you okay? What are you talking about?”

She flashed him a look of disbelief, incredulity evident.

“Keith has a boyfriend.” Her voice was cold.

Everything went quiet. The music, the loud chatter of patrons, even the god awful chiming of the shop doors.

“Thanks for nothing, Lance.”

She walked off quickly after that. Lance knew he should probably go after her and say something, _apologise_ even, but he was frozen in his place.

Keith. Had a _boyfriend_.

_Oh God._

 

> **ii. and so it begins**

Keith had a _boyfriend?!_

Lance felt an uncomfortable lurching in his stomach. He and Keith had gotten so close recently; they were practically _best friends_ . Or at least Lance had _thought_ they were best friends. He supposed they’d never really spoken about it, but did you need to? But then again, wouldn't best friends have talked about things like this? About having a boyfriend? And about their sexuality? It would have been nice to know for Lance and his pathetic crush. Really nice to know.

But it was little too late because Keith had _a boyfriend_.

Lance knew they were definitely _friends,_ this he was sure of. They spent nearly every day together, benefits of both having the same university major and the same friend group.

But Keith had a boyfriend.

 _Since when?_ Lance had never heard of Keith having other friends, not that he thought Keith was unable to make friends, just that he tended not to. Or at least that's what Lance had thought. Not only did Keith have other friends, he had another boyfriend. Or one boyfriend. He had _a_ boyfriend.

_Holy shit._

Why hadn’t Keith said anything? Did he not trust Lance?

Maybe they weren’t best friends after all, but Lance still thought that they were close.

Did Keith not think about him the same way? Gosh, maybe he really _did_ find him annoying, or at least annoying enough to not want to share his personal life with.

 _Maybe I should ask_?

But as soon as that thought popped up in his mind, Lance shook it out immediately. Keith clearly didn't want him to know.

_It’s okay; this is Keith._

Lance didn't have to know every part of Keith’s life; he wasn't entitled to that. He could live with this. He’d let Keith open up to him, if at all, when he wanted to. Keith was a good person, one that Lance cared about dearly. It hurt, a little, to realise that someone you care about might not trust you the same way.

So maybe it wasn't okay _because_ it was Keith.

It hurt a lot actually. Lance had never thought his crush would actually… _transcend_ into anything more than a simple crush, but it hurt to know that Keith was actually unavailable, not just oblivious.

Not that Lance had ever tried to tell him, not that he _would_ ever try to tell him.

More than all that though, it hurt that Keith still didn't feel safe around him, that after months of friendship, Lance still only knew Keith at surface level.

Lance knew that despite it all Keith wasn't a malicious person. He was good and thoughtful and kind, and whatever it was that was going on in his life… if it wasn't meant for Lance to know, then he trusted Keith to make that judgement. One sided or not, Lance valued their trust immensely.

\--

In the forthcoming days Lance tried to stifle his discovery, pushing it back and doing his absolute best to ignore it completely. However, he couldn't help but be on edge every time he was with Keith. He tried to analyse Keith’s interactions with other people and his anecdotes in daily conversations for any sign of this double life he was apparently leading, but so far he hadn’t come across anything unusual.

Keith was, as always, solid and steady and constant. Lance felt a bit guilty at his own behaviour, but he tried to stifle that  too.

It was cold outside, so their little group had decided to meet in a coffee shop near campus to catch up and study. Although at the moment it was only Lance and Keith, meaning more getting distracted than actually studying.

He tried to focus on the homework he had in front of him but his eyes kept wandering to Keith, eyebrows furrowed and a pensive frown deep set on his face.

“Can’t keep your eyes off of me?”

Keith’s voice snapped him out of his daze, causing him to almost jump in surprise. Lance’s eyes widened in shock and he could feel the heat rush to his cheeks as he processed the words.

“Just… uh… thirsty, that's all.” he managed to choke out with a rather forced chuckle, trying to regain his composure. “That's just a really nice milkshake you have there.”

Lance’s eyes widened in surprise as Keith’s eyes locked directly onto him, a smug look on his face.

“Whatever you say~” Keith singsonged before looking back down at his laptop. Lance followed suit before a straw was shoved directly in front of his line of vision. He moved back a bit to see Keith’s milkshake now directly in front of him. He looked back at Keith questioningly who in turn just nodded, still looking down at his laptop.

Lance smiled to himself before holding the glass up to take a sip.

Sometimes it felt like Keith knew exactly what he was thinking, knew _exactly_ how Lance felt, and that terrified him. He wasn't sure if Keith was playing some sort of game, teasing him. He knew Keith wasn't the type to do that, but he couldn't help but think the worst sometimes. One thing he knew for sure is that Keith didn't feel the same way. He couldn't. He had a boyfriend.

Suddenly, Lance felt the cold glass slip slightly in his grip. He pulled it up quickly only to get the whipped cream smeared all over his face.

Keith’s sharp laughter cut through the air. He quickly slapped his hands over his mouth as he noticed other people staring, but Lance could still see his chest shaking sightly.

“Oh my _god,_ ” Keith managed to get out. “You idiot.”

“Thanks.” Lance said unimpressed, although any malice was stifled by the small smile playing on his lips. It was hard to be anything other than awestruck by a joyful Keith.

“Gosh, how did you manage to get it all over your face?” Keith chided, fiddling with the small napkin holder at the side of the table. “Now just - here.”

Suddenly Keith was close, very close, rubbing his forehead gently with a napkin. Lance’s breath hitched in his throat, body and mind both rendered frozen.

He can't help but imagine Keith doing this for his boyfriend. His stomach squirmed. He should be happy for Keith, he knows how hard its been for him to build even the small group of friends they had now, hence for him to willingly share himself with someone else romantically was _huge_. Lance was happy, he really was.

(He’d just be happier if that someone else was him.)

He almost zoned out to Keith’s soft, gentles touches with the napkin on his chin, ever so close to his lips, grazing just slightly. His brain started malfunctioning with the proximity.

He wonders if Keith is like this with his boyfriend; caring and domestic. He wonders what they say to each other, all the inside jokes and stories they have between them, the various terms of endearment and nicknames. Maybe he calls Keith things like ‘sweetheart’ or ‘babe’, earning Keith’s characteristic eye roll and flush of his cheeks.

He tested that out bitterly on his tongue, _‘Babe’_ . ‘Keith, _babe_ , how are you? _’_.

Would Keith let someone call him that? Lance supposed he’d never know.

Naturally, as his brain had stopped processing all coherent thought, he said the most stupid thing he could in the moment.

“So caring and considerate,” Lance cooed, earning himself an eye roll from Keith (And a blush. He was right.) “‘ _Boyfriend_ ’ is a good colour on you, babe.”

Soon as the words came out of his mouth, Lance froze. Keith also froze, hand suspended in the air where he was about to take another spoonful of the whipped cream atop the milkshake.

Eventually Keith snapped out of it and withdrew. Keith’s eyes were dark and downcast and Lance could feel that he’d probably royally fucked up.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry if that made you uncomfortable! I totally didn't mean to say that and I’m so sorry that I did it's just so natural for me-”

“Its okay.” Keith cut him off, eyes boring holes into the milkshake currently in between them. Lance froze again like a deer in headlights, forced to watch in anticipation as Keith slowly lifted a spoonful of the cream, closing his lips around the spoon and twirling it around.

Lance gulped nervously. “Pardon?” he managed to choke out.

Keith raised his eyes to meet Lance, a soft smile playing on his face. “I like it.”

_Lance goddamn near _imploded._ _

 

> **iii. oh no theres more**

Lance had a description, albeit an unhelpful description of Keith’s _boyfriend_. It turned out practically everyone in their major stream and even those in other courses knew about Keith’s goddamn boyfriend. Practically everyone except for Lance.

Everyone seemed surprised that he didn't know, as they would be, considering he was one of Keith’s closest friends, but they all seemed excited to talk nonetheless. It seemed that Keith’s boyfriend was as mysterious as they came. No one saw him on campus, but the rumours suggested he was tall with dark skin and hair. No one was able to give Lance a name either, nothing to indicate this guy even existed except for the fact that Keith apparently mentioned him all the time.

To everyone except Lance.

He hated teenagers with their _senseless_ and more importantly _unhelpful_ gossip.

It had been almost two weeks since that awful day at the record shop, but Lance still couldn’t stop thinking about it. Keith hadn’t mentioned anything else to him yet, nor had he given Lance any indication of even having a boyfriend.

Maybe that girl had been wrong.

But at the same time anyone he asked said Keith definitely had a boyfriend, said he had one for at least a month now. This shocked Lance, sprouting an uneasy feeling in his stomach. Lance had spent almost every day with Keith for the past few months, and especially over these last two weeks, and yet he’d seen nothing.

He had to get to the bottom of this.

He’d taken to hyper analysing every interaction Keith had with other guys, not that he had that many, but still.

_Who could it be?!_

Lance tried to convince himself it wasn’t jealousy… it was just _friendly_ concern. He had to ensure that whoever Keith was with treated him well, not that Keith needed Lance to look after him, but still, Keith deserved the world and Lance wanted to make sure whoever he was with gave that to him.

Just buddy-buddy concerns.

Oh who was he kidding, by this point, despite his desperate attempts at trying to snap out of it, Lance was absolutely smitten with Keith.

It was March and still cold, too cold to study out on the lawn without having to bundle up and more often than not having their notes blow all over the place. So instead, their small group had booked out a pod in the campus library for studying. Although at the moment it was just Lance and Keith, meaning once again more getting distracted than actual studying. Or actually just Lance in the small room, as Keith had gone off to find some book for his quote-unquote _dumb fucking stupid shit_ nature of science class. Ordinarily Lance would just chuckle and leave him to it, but his pining led him to staring, which led him to notice another boy approach Keith.

He quickly put his textbook down and ran to hide behind one of the shelves behind them. It wasn’t his most honourable moment in hindsight, but he was tired of his brain being messed with like this. He wanted answers.

“Hey, Keith, you up for for a study group this Thursday?” The stranger’s voice asked. Lance saw Keith’s eyes flash in recognition before a small easy smile fell on his face.

“Ah, sorry dude, I’m busy.” Keith replied sheepishly.

“Date night?” The guy teased. Lance’s eyes widened in surprise. This was the first time he was hearing someone directly mention it. Keith rolled his eyes although Lance could see the slightly pink dustings on his cheek.

Keith wasn’t denying it.

“It’s the only day he’s ever usually free… I’ll be there on Sunday though.”

Keith just _confirmed_ it.

_Holy shit._

“No worries dude, I understand, take care.”

Lance quickly scrambled back to their earlier table, opening up more tabs on his laptop to have something to copy down for the moment Keith would walk back into the room.

Thursdays… but Thursdays were usually their day. It was the only day during the week that they were both free for a good few hours. Had they been meeting on Thursdays for a while? Outside of Lance’s knowledge? How had he not noticed?

Wait, should he cancel their Thursdays? Was he taking too much of Keith’s time?

Lances mind raced ahead, a whirlpool of half coherent thoughts creating such a ruckus that he didn’t notice Keith walk back in until a flick on his forehead snapped him out.

“Hey!” he cried out in surprise, rubbing at the spot Keith had hit. The aforementioned boy simply sat back down in his seat looking smug.

“Don’t think so hard, you might hurt yourself.”

Lance narrowed his eyes. “I’m studying, I’m _supposed_ to be thinking.”

Keith flashes him a grin in response and focused back on his laptop. Lance relaxed a little, having recovered from his surprise and observed Keith for a while.

“Hey, Keith?” He called out before he could stop himself. “We’re still on for Thursday, right?”

Keith furrowed his eyebrows slightly in confusion, tilting his head to the side.

Lance tried to stifle the side of him that found it _adorable_.

“Yeah, of course. Why?”

“No reason.” Lance quickly responded, picking up a pencil and writing on his sheet to look busy so Keith wouldn’t press any further. He heard Keith let out a deep sigh, watching from the corner of his eye as Keith smiled down at his laptop.

Lance bit back a similar smile, quickly averting his gaze so as not to be caught.

Surely if Keith didn’t want to spend time with him he’d say something right? But Lance had also thought he’d say something about his boyfriend by now.

Lance shook his head gently before refocusing back on the notes in front of him.

He’d chosen to trust Keith. He would just have give him time.

__

\--

__

Thursday came quickly. Lance tried not to think about it too much, but naturally that resulted in him overthinking. He was hyper aware of Keith, of his phone use and mood, any indication that he had somewhere else to be.

Lance didn’t find any though.

They were in Lance’s dorm room, sitting on the floor by the sofa with his laptop on the table and streaming a film. Lance wanted to focus on the movie but he could only focus on Keith sitting on the floor beside him, head resting on his shoulder.

He was here with Lance, not his boyfriend.

Lance tried to stifle the rush he felt at that thought.

Was it all just to keep Keith’s guise up? So as to not arouse any suspicion from Lance, since Keith seemed adamant on hiding this relationship from him. Lance had seen and read enough secret relationship flicks to know the lengths at which people go to try to hide them. If this was some chick-flick, Lance was certain he was near the middle where the other protagonist would start slipping up. Soon, hopefully, but Keith was good. Too good. Was Keith _that_ desperate to hide this from Lance? He still hung out with him regularly, and everything was the same as usual. Was Keith just indulging him so he didn't ask any questions? Did Keith even want to hang out with him?

Maybe… maybe Lance should say something.

But maybe there was a reason Keith wasn’t talking about it. Maybe things weren’t going well right now. It would be cruel to press on a matter he knew nothing about, especially if it could upset Keith.

Lance was many things, the primary of which was a little selfish and if there was anything he wanted most, it was to keep Keith happy.

He hated to admit that the thought of Keith fighting with his boyfriend made him feel a little good… but Keith’s laugh made him feel even better. So he stayed quiet, moving slightly closer to Keith and looking back to the screen.

 

> **iv. things are hard for lance**

So Keith probably had a boyfriend and Lance was not coping well. He pondered this tragedy at his bar-side stool in the campus cafe, coffee long forgotten as he slipped into his thoughts. The same questions of how and why kept circulating his mind, a pulsating force that kept building and building.

“That coffee must be cold by now.”

He jumped in surprise as well manicured nails tapped on the ceramic cup in front of him, looking up to see familiar white hair and blue eyes.

“Oh, hey Allura.” He said after a few seconds, blinking a few times to refocus.

She raised an eyebrow in question but didn’t say anything, moving slightly down the counter with a cloth in hand to wipe down the machine.

“You’ve been glaring at that cup for the past 30 minutes. What did my coffee ever do to you?” She teased.

Lance smiled, although it felt a bit forced. “Oh? You’ve been staring at me?”

His half-hearted retort caught her attention. She put down the cloth she was cleaning the machine with and came back around to stand directly in front of him.

“Is everything okay?” she asked slowly.

Lance sighed, letting a genuine smile crew onto his face. Allura, though utterly exasperated by Lance most of the time, always seemed to be able to key in on his thoughts and mood, and strangely cared enough to want to intervene.

“Yeah, don’t worry I’m fine.” He flashed her a grin. This seemed to satiate her for a while and she went back to the machine she was tending to.

“You know you can talk to me about anything if you need to, right?”

Gosh, she was so amazing. Lance counted himself lucky that she was his friend after all the stress he no doubt brought her regularly. But she was always kind and patient, though quick-witted when her patience did ultimately wear out.

“I know, thanks _princess_.” He said, gazing back at the cup and fingers absentmindedly tapping against the counter.

He hadn’t asked anyone else about Keith’s boyfriend yet, primarily for the same reasons he hadn’t asked Keith. Perhaps though, out of all of his friends, Allura was the best bet to get some much needed clarity.

She rolled her eyes at his reply. Before she could say anything else the door opened loudly and a crowd of people rushed into the cafe.

“Allura, a little help please?” A voice called out from the back.

She looked over at Lance to say goodbye. Lance wanted to say a little more though.

_Anything, right?_

“Hey Allura,” he called out hesitantly. She stopped mid walk to turn around and flashed him a look that said ‘make it quick’. Lance took a deep breath and continued. “Does Keith have a boyfriend?”

Her mouth fell open and she stared at him in disbelief. Lance almost drew back, shocked by her reaction. She narrowed her eyes.

“Lance, I can’t tell if you’re joking or not but either way the cafe’s way too overrun to entertain you right now.” She reprimanded quickly before rushing off, leaving Lance speechless.

“Why would I be joking?” Lance said aloud with a dejected sigh, mostly to himself as Allura had already dashed past the corner.

_Why would I be joking?!_

Lance had more to say but Allura was occupied, tending to the large crowd that had appeared in the cafe seemingly from nowhere. Lance sighed, downed his ice cold cappuccino, got his things together and left.

None of this was making sense. Lance felt like at this point he should take the conversation to Keith directly, but he still felt wary of doing so. There _had_ to be an important reason as to why Keith wasn’t telling him.

But that didn’t qualm the sheer _frustration_ that was bubbling inside Lance. What didn’t he know what everyone else seemed to?

Suddenly he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket  

He paled as he looked down at his phone to find Keith’s caller ID. He felt a rush of emotions surge through him, from nervous anticipation to dread (and a little excitement). He tried to settle down his heartbeat before picking up.

“Hey, Keith.”

“Is this Keith’s boyfriend?” A foreign voice came through the speaker. Lance almost dropped the phone in surprise, unable to find his voice for a few seconds. Did something happen to Keith?

“This… isn’t Keith.” He spoke slowly and carefully, trying to guide the panic building up.

“Hey, sorry. My names Dhiraj, I’m in Keith’s photography class. Dude left his phone behind and I have no idea what class he has next but you were in his recent call log so, yeah…”

Lance relaxed as he processed the man’s words. “Oh shit, thanks for that.”

“No worries.”

There was an awkward pause as Lance waited for the man to say something more. He was relieved that Keith seemed to be okay, and relieved that Keith would be able to find his phone that he had apparently lost.

“Wait,” Lance said, breaking the silence. “How did you get on his phone?”

“It doesn't lock by itself? Like I think he set it to never sleep.”

“Oh yeah,” Lance chuckled fondly. “He’s like that. He usually has a complicated passcode to prevent people getting on his phone and _refuses_ to use Touch ID to prevent Apple from getting his DNA to run tests or sell out to private organisations. His words, not mine. ”

Lance heard the other man laugh. “Strange fellow you got there.”

“What does that mean?” Lance asked back in confusion.

“Oh just in his call log, none of his contact names are actual names.” The guys responded. “Like this other one here is ‘bon appetit’, another one is ‘buzzfeed unsolved’ and yours was just a series of heart emojis.”

“Oh… yeah he’s afraid of the government. Well not afraid, just cautious. It’s his thing.”

“You guys sound cute.”

Lance froze in his spot. Suddenly a part of the man’s speech earlier came back to his mind.

_‘Is this Keith’s boyfriend?’_

Lance’s grip on the phone tightened.

“We’re not dating.”

“Oh shit I’m sorry to have assumed... just your contact name on the phone and you’re the main person in his call log… anyways can I meet you somewhere to give Keith’s phone?”

_Oh, right._

“Yeah, yeah… Dhiraj right? I know where Keith’s photography class was, mind if I go there?”

After confirming with Dhiraj a time and place to meet, Lance set his phone away and quickly ran to the other side of campus to meet the guy, ignoring the unsettling mix of butterflies and _guilt_ rolling around his stomach at the thought of what he had insinuated.

 

> **v. oh no**

Keith and Lance still did their usual stuff often; going around town, going to each other’s dorms, just the two of them. They travelled around a lot, mainly for whatever project Keith needed to do for his photography elective, not that Lance really minded at all. He loved spending the time with Keith. Lance would allow Keith to take photos of him, and in return Keith allowed Lance to keep him company. Not that Lance had ever thought of himself as a burden to Keith, but now that he knew Keith had a boyfriend he _could_ be spending all his time with instead… these moments meant a lot more to him.

“You wanna pick up some takeout and go back?” Keith asked.

“God, _yes._ ” Lance groaned. “I’m starving. Thai?”

“Sure.” Keith said. “I’ll run over and place the order.”

“Okay, I’ll get the-”

“It’s okay, Lance,” he chuckled. “We’ve been together long enough now; I know your order.”

Keith walked off just in time before Lance literally imploded once again. He… Keith… fucking hell what did that _mean?!_ Lance tried to slow down his heart and mind, both which were racing at exponential speeds. Keith obviously meant together as friends, he couldn’t mean anything else; he had a boyfriend.

Lance couldn't allow himself to keep feeling like this, not when Keith had someone else.

But he couldn't help it.

Especially recently as they kept spending more and more time together, and Keith was so much closer and more open with him, and occasionally got so _touchy_ with him. Lance was only human, specifically a human that reacted catastrophically to Keith.

He stood there in the middle of the avenue contemplating. The sky was still bright although the sun had set, the blue more faded and expansive than before. The roads of the little campus town had become so familiar to Lance over the past two years and he felt so at home here now.

He sighed. Sometimes everything in his life felt so complicated and heavy, but then moments like this where he looked around at where his life had brought him, everything suddenly felt so small. Keith having a boyfriend wasn’t the end of the world, despite what his heart told him.

He took a seat on the bench outside the Thai place Keith had ran down to and smiled to himself.

This wasn’t the end of the world.

“Hey kid, what are you doing out here alone?”

Lance jumped in surprise and looked to his left to find the source of the voice. A tall man with white hair was approaching him slowly. Lance paled as the man came closer and the slight grin on his face was evident.

“You lost? Need a hand?” The man continued, plopping himself down on the bench and putting an arm around Lance’s shoulder. He was close enough for Lance to be able to smell the smoke, sweat and alcohol all emanating off the man.

Lance made a move to get up and run for it but the man tightened his clasp around Lance’s shoulder, digging his nails in and pushing Lance into the bench. He felt his pulse accelerating, suddenly finding it harder to breathe.

“Oh no don’t worry, I’m fine and I’ll be on my way now-“

“Nonsense!” The other man laughed, sending chills down Lances spine. It was a harsh sound, metallic and cold. “A pretty boy like you shouldn’t be wandering around alone. Let me take you-“

“No.” Lance said as forcefully as he could muster given the way his whole body was beginning to tremble.

He could tell the man must’ve sensed his fear too because his grin widened. “Now that word doesn’t sound right coming from your pretty little mouth.”

Lance was scared, but he was also angry. He took a deep breath, preparing to push the man away, fight him if need be when suddenly the weight disappeared off his shoulders.

“Hey-!“ The man yelped, suddenly sprawled on the other side of the bench. Before he could shout anything else, a voice cut him off.

“He said no.”

He felt a rush of emotions at the sound of the voice, looking up to see Keith glaring at the man. Lance quickly jumped up to stand beside Keith. He immediately felt safer standing beside him. Keith however was still fixated

“Keith I’m fine, let’s go.” He tugged on Keith’s arm, pulling him around to face him. Keith’s eyes met his and he held them there, earnestly pleading Keith to go. Keith’s face softened and he let himself be pulled away by Lance.

“Your girlfriend too pussy to fight, huh?” The man spat.

Keith suddenly pulled his arm out of Lances grip and he felt his heartbeat pick up, ready for the absolute worst when suddenly he felt Keith’s arm snake around his back and pull him into his waist.

“My boyfriend and I have no time for sleazy old trashbags like yourself.” Keith stated coldly, before walking away with Lance.

Lance wanted to say more to defend himself, maybe cuss out the other guy even, but his brain was short circuiting and tunnel visioning on Keith’s arm wrapped securely around his waist. What was even more detrimental to his brain’s system was how they’d been walking for a few minutes now, bar behind them and Keith was still holding him very close.

And- wait, _boyfriend_?

Him, Lance, as Keith’s _boyfriend?!_

Lances heart was racing now for a different reason, breathing becoming harder. That couldn’t be… he couldn’t be… no, Keith was just meeting the guy’s jibe. He called Keith Lance’s girlfriend in a pathetic attempt to insult him and Keith just engaged back. That was all. There was no reason to hope for anything more.

Lance knew how Keith protective was with his friends, that this wasn’t out of character in the slightest, but that didn’t stop his mind from spiralling along other paths.

“You okay?” Keith had his hands on Lance’s shoulder and was looking straight into his eyes. Lance gulped under the intensity.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

But all Lance was reminded of was the fact that Keith has someone else very special to him, someone else who’d be on the receiving end of Keith’s kindness.

Keith didn’t say anything when Lance asked if they could just eat at the park instead of going back to their dorms. He didn’t say anything when Lance said goodbye despite their earlier plans of spending the evening together. He didn't say anything with his words but Keith kept looking at him with those _knowing_ looks that clawed into Lance.

This was getting too much.

Lances feelings were spiralling and that wasn’t right. Wasn’t fair in the slightest bit. Lance was selfish and that meant his primary concern was ensuring the best for Keith.

Keith was happy in a relationship and as his best friend Lance should be happy too.

He wasn’t happy right now thought, not completely. So maybe he needed some time to learn how to be a better friend before hoping for something more.

 

> **vi. another realisation**

“Lance, what the _fuck_?”

Lance jumped in shock on his chair, dropping the video game controller in his hand as the door to his dorm slammed open and Pidge stormed in. He looked at Hunk who was studying on his desk in the room in surprise, but the other seemed unbothered by the intrusion, instead putting down his pen and turning his chair to face Lance.

“Sorry, _what?_ ” Lance managed to sputter back.

Pidge stormed across the room right up to him and jabbed a finger on his chest. Lance almost fell off his chair as he scrambled to get away.

“What are you doing to Keith?”

Lance stilled, earlier panic residing to confusion. Pidge took a step back and met his eyes, holding his gaze with a fuming glare. Lance gulped in guilt, realising what Pidge was getting onto.

“I’m not doing anything. I’m just been busy with work, haven’t had enough time to hangout… with everyone.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. He’d had to tone back their meetings. The proximity to Keith was doing absolutely nothing to lower his feelings, magnifying them instead. The only other option was distance. It would be good in the long run, even if in the present it hurt Lance more than the earlier pining. It would also give Keith more time to spend with his boyfriend.

“Yeah, but Keith isn’t just ‘everyone’, Lance.” Hunk spoke up from his seat with a frown. Lance swallowed the steadily rising ball of guilt in his throat.

“God,” Pidge groaned, throwing their arms up into the air in exasperation. “You’d think that Keith’s boyfriend-“

_Keith’s boyfriend?!_

“-would know him well enough by now to understand-“

“Keith’s boyfriend?!” Lance exclaimed, cutting Pidge off. Both Hunk and Pidge gave him confused looks. “You know Keith’s boyfriend?”

Truth be told, despite what he tried to tell himself, Lance was _not_ okay. He couldn't leave this alone. Enough was enough, and he was going to confront Keith about his boyfriend.

“Okay, you _traitors_ , the gig is up! Who is Keith's boyfriend?”

Pidge and Hunk both froze in their places. The room fell in silence save for the sounds from the desktop screen where the game Lance had been playing was still running. A loud blaring siren signalling a blaring ‘game over’ seemed to snap the two of them out of their daze. They both blinked a few times before resuming their wide-eyed stares at Lance.

“You're _joking,_ right?” Pidge deadpanned incredulously.

“Contrary to popular belief, everything I do and say is not a joke.” Lance retorted.

“Oh my god, Lance,” Hunk groaned. “Please tell me you’re not being serious!”

Lance furrowed his eyebrows, surprised by this reaction. “I’m being completely serious. Who is Keith's boyfriend?”

Another frozen moment in time; Pidge and Hunk looked at each other in shock, then back at Lance in shock, then back at each other.

“You guys, please-”

“You!” Pidge blurted out, cutting Lance off. “It’s you, _you_ _dumbass_.”

Lance’s jaw dropped. “What…?”

“Lance have you… are you _seriously_ … did you not know this whole time…” Hunk tried to form some sort of sentence, stringing together fragments of words, eyes still wide in absolute disbelief. “You’re Keith’s boyfriend.”

“I’m… Keith’s… _boyfriend?_ ” Lance echoed, voice high pitched almost squeaking near the end. “Since _when?!”_

“Since like… I don’t know… Keith told us two months ago.”

“Why didn't any of you tell me?!” Lance yelled.

“Well, sorry, but we thought you would _know_ if you were in a relationship.” Pidge grumbled.

“Hunk! I’ve literally been pouring my heart out to you about my crush for months! And you never said anything?!”

“I thought you were just super into him?” Hunk offered sheepishly.  

“I can't believe you’ve been pining after your own _boyfriend_ for months _._ ” Pidge quipped, eliciting a muffled snort from Hunk.

“Shut up Pidge, this isn't funny!” Lance whined, although it kind of totally was funny in the most horrifying way. He’d been pining over his unrequited crush on his own _boyfriend_.

_This shit literally only happens in movies._

Lance couldn't help but let out a laugh as well, one which he quickly cut off by covering his mouth with his hands. A sudden wave of dread rose in his chest.

“Oh my god, _Keith_ ,” Lance gasped, eyes widening in horror. Pidge and Hunk seemed to come to a similar realisation, the dread apparent on their faces. “He’s been thinking we’ve been dating for months… holy _shit_ …”

“Well don't just stand there, Lance!” Hunk yelped, trying to make him leave with large, panicked gestures towards the door. “Go quickly!”

Lance turned, grabbed his coat and dashed out of the dorm as quickly as he could. As soon as he stepped out, he realised he didn’t know where to go. He quickly pulled his phone out and dialed Keith.

The phone went through after the second ring.

“Lance?” Keith’s voice came through, disbelief evident in tone. Lance felt the guilt surface again. He knew he’d been ignoring Keith a little.

“I’m so, _so_ sorry Keith.” He gushed. “Where are you right now?”

“Uh... in a library pod, why-“

“Great, see you soon!” Lance quickly hung up and began rushing to the library, arriving in record speed.

He got to the pod section of the library, scanning the rooms for Keith. He saw him on one of the last and went to the door. He paused at the door, realising that he had no idea what he was going to say. But Keith had already seen him through the window panel on the door, so there was no going back. Lance took a deep breath and opened the door.

He pulled out the empty seat beside Keith and sat down quickly, wincing as he hit the table with the chair. He looked up at Keith and almost wished he hadn’t. The look of concern on his face was enough to _melt_ Lance. Lance had to avert his gaze.

“Are you okay?” Keith asked.

Lance smiled. “Yeah yeah just. Okay... this is going to sound a little strange but... am I your boyfriend?”

Keith’s face morphed into something blank and almost unreadable, but Lance knew him well enough to see how visibly unsettled he was.

“Yes?”

“For how long?” Lance pressed.

“Since New Years…” Keith’s eyes widened and his whole face fell as realisation struck. “Lance… no… seriously?”

“Sorry?” he offered sheepishly, and regretted immediately as he saw the way Keith’s face contorted.

“Oh my god… I seriously… you _confessed_ to me on New Years! We kissed!”

Now it was Lance’s turn to be shocked.

“I- what?”

Lance god near _imploded_ inside once again. To think… _he_ had confessed to Keith…

“You don’t remember.” Keith blanched. “Oh my god, this is so embarrassing! I’m such an _idiot._ I thought we are dating all this time holy shit holy shit.”

“But we didn’t talk about it after… did we? Why did you think we were dating?” Lance asked, a mixture of confusion and guilt swirling in his chest.

“But you would hold my hand all the time and give me cute nicknames and we share food in restaurants and cafes and always eat together like every day... fucking _yeah_ I thought we were dating.”

“Keith, _Keith_ it’s okay! Oh my god you’re not an idiot. If anything I’m an idiot. I should’ve said something sooner, or at least guessed something since literally everyone was giving me hints.”

Keith stayed silent for a few moment before taking a deep sigh and burying his face in his hands. “I might actually _cry_. I can’t believe this is happening.”

Lance wanted to collapse from the guilt building up. “But... you didn’t even try to kiss me or anything.”

“I thought you just wanted to take things slow?”

Now Lance wanted to cry. “Oh my god _Keith_ that’s so sweet of you! Fuck I’m such an ass, you were so patient… why…”

“Hey, I don’t actually have that much dating experience.... and I really do like you Lance, so I didn’t mind.”

Lance fell silent, unsure of how to even begin to respond.

“Shit, Lance, like I’m so sorry?” Keith suddenly rushed out, words panicky. “I shouldn’t have assumed things. I’m sorry if this made you feel uncomfortable-“

“No.” Lance interrupted, shocking Keith. “No I mean like- ah. Listen Keith, I really like you. Like, _really_ like you. And I have for _so_ long. Within like a month of knowing you I already had the biggest crush and I didn’t know what to do. Hell, up until a few weeks ago I thought you were straight!”

Keith’s jaw dropped at that and he opened his mouth to say something but Lance cut him off.

“Just, wait, let me finish. Do you remember that girl in the record shop? Green hair, record shop? She asked you out and then told me later that you’d turned her down because you had a _boyfriend_. I was so shocked! And since then it’s just been this crazy rollercoaster of me wanting to ask you about it, but also wanting to trust you because I know that if you’re not telling me something… there has to be a good reason.

“So all that was going on but also we were spending more and more time together? Like I understand why now, since we were in a... relationship, but I felt so guilty the whole time, because my feelings for you were growing and I thought you had someone else.” Lance stopped to take a deep breath, feeling his voice getting shaky as he continued.

“And I was jealous and having all these toxic emotions and thought I should remove myself from you for a while to get over them because…” Lance paused, searching for the right words. “You deserved more than that.”

“Oh my god…” Keith groaned. He held Lances gaze, violet eyes wide and pained. “ _Lance_.”

“I’m so sorry. I really do care about you, so much. And I completely understand if after all of this you’d rather not-“

“No wait Lance, now let me speak.” Keith interrupted, shutting Lance up. “As I said, I _really_ like you. I have for months as well. You’re one of the few people who really _get_ me. You’re patient and kind, but you also challenge me all the time and really make me want to be my best. I really like myself when I’m with you,”

Keith paused for a second, looking away. He then snapped his head back to meet Lance’s eyes directly. Lance felt his heartbeat pick up. “And I _really_ like you.”

Lance’s brain was short circuiting. He’d never wanted to hear anything more than what he was hearing from Keith now, his feelings having eaten at him for so long. Now everything was out in the open. No more secrets and misunderstanding. He liked Keith and Keith liked him. It should be simple, how to proceed, but Lance couldn't think of anything to say, so instead Lance thought about what he wanted.

“Keith, can I kiss you?”

Keith blinked a few times. The time that passed was probably seconds, but to Lance it felt like an eternity and he was about to apologise and take it back when suddenly Keith closed the gap between them.

It was short and sweet, so _soft,_ almost as if nothing had happened, but it was also so good. Lance couldn't help the grin that stretched out on his face when Keith pulled away, and he couldn't help the grin widening either when he saw a similar look on Keith’s face.

“Hey, Lance?” Keith whispered, still very close.

“Yeah?”

Keith bit his lip to hide the grin overtaking his face. “Will you be my boyfriend?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

Keith narrowed his eyes and gave him a look.

“Lance…” he started carefully. “I think I really do.”

Lance blushed furiously. “It was New Years! You can't blame me for _enjoying_ myself _._ ”

Keith looked at him unimpressed. “So just to clarify… you do know you’re my boyfriend now?”

“God, _yes_ , I know!” Lance groaned. He felt his blush deepen as Keith just stared at him in amusement. Lance got up and made to leave before he felt an arm wrap around his torso and pull him back down.

“You’re sure, right?” Keith’s voice was hot and low on his ear, breath crawling down to his nape. Lance shivered.

“You are the _worst_.” he managed to choke back. Keith’s chuckle on the back of his neck sent more hairs up on his skin.

“I have weeks to catch up on!” Keith teased, wrapping his arms tighter around Lance and pulling him in.

Lance smiled softly. “Yeah, we do.”

**Author's Note:**

> i literaaaaaaaaally cant believe i wrote this. most of it was on a plane... after some #champagne so i apologise for whatever it is. and for oversharing i suppose.
> 
> as always pls let me know if u liked it! 
> 
> @booseungkwn on twitter, @starwar on tumblr.


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